How can i keep my wifes calls from showing up on my phone and mine showing up on hers, we share the same icloud and itunes acct? It just started doing this about one or two updates ago

Welcome to the Apple community.

I'm afraid that's what happens when you share an Apple ID.

Ideally you should each have your own ID's and use Family sharing to share purchases, but at the very least you would be better having your own ID's for everything but iTunes.

I suspect your problem is that you are sharing an ID for FaceTime, you either need to stop this or make sure that you are only reached at and that your caller ID is only your telephone number.

This doesn't seem to be right. I mean not a right thing for my phone to do. We have had the same Apple ID for years and this started happening about 3-4 weeks ago. I called Apple Support for our iPhones and they had never heard of anything like this. Apple Support had me check several settings and we made a few changes but this all happened again today. I also called AT&T, our service provider, and they referred me to Apple Support. Now I turned FACETIME off on my wife's phone since she never uses it. No calls since then but we will see if this works....

There are several reasons it could happen, but they are all related to you sharing an Apple ID. Stop sharing an Apple ID.

Simply put, Apple IDs are no longer meant to be shared. They can be, but these are the results.

In previous iOS and iOS app versions, these behaviours were not experienced. Now they are. as Apple added Continuity and other such features, Apple ID's have become more like phone numbers.

Meant for one entity.

Apple themselves (gently) advocate not sharing them.